Reaching fulfilment as individuals and as a couple: moving between reciprocity and loss of self

According to psychological literature every couple is based on a “marriage agreement” which grounds on the “emotional” sphere (individual satisfaction) and the “ethical prescriptive” sphere (the engagement to keep the relationship alive). To invest into deep couple’s feelings implicates to become dependent from the other. Which resources can help in undertaking this risk and in finding a balance between induividual and marital needs? May reciprocity be a resource? May exist an additional kind of reciprocity, which loves permanently (“Art of loving” by Chiara Lubich) and makes relative individual emotions in favour of the care of the relationship. We have conducted a qualitative research to check on the couples’ different styles in “caring the relationship”, to highlight functional styles and to comprehend if/how “the art of loving” can be an effective resource, considering the life phase and the socioeconomical conditions. The corpus (N° 24 interwievs) was submitted to content analysis by the software Atlas.Ti.