This paper engages with the issues of intersubjectivity by raising three main questions about it: What is the status of the other and of the perspective of the other? How would a social ontology that starts from the other look like? and What is the relation between intersubjectivity and the possible? In addressing these questions, I propose four main approaches to self–other relations, each one focused on a different set of theories of intersubjectivity: cognitive (being self), pragmatist (becoming other), dialogical (becoming self), and allocentric (being other). Their main premises, processes, theories and proponents, as well as implications for ethics and the emergence of novelty, are reflected on in turn. Allocentrism emerges as a useful way to shift the focus from self to other in discussions of intersubjectivity, as an ontological condition of the possible, but also as a difficult position to adopt in practice, particularly in polarized societies.